And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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