I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just high enough for therapy.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
