She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
