I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
