just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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