is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
