My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
