i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
