You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
