I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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