Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize