They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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