Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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