He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Randomize
