Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
