you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
