At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
please come you make the beer taste better
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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