I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
