i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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