I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
