There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
