lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
