ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
