they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
