so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
