Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My breasts were aching with rage.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
