If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Found the puke drawer
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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