Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
