so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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