she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
wow bdsm is so cute
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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