i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
