i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
