he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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