Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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