His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
