y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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