Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
