Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
