it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
