I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
