Already got asked if we're dating
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
