I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
