yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
