I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
