Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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