oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
