Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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