I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
