FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
