Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
