I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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