so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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