Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
