A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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