Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
