hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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