i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
