Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
