Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
