my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
