I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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