what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
