Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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