I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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