the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
