things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
